Guys, I need to talk to you about boobs for a minute. Because I've always thought I didn't have any, and today I walked into a Victoria's Secret and was measured into a 34D bra. And it fit. IT FIT. My own best friend, who is considerably more buxom than I am wears a 34DD - just one size bigger than me. I feel like I'm living in some sort of alternate reality where everything I once knew to be true was false. My very own version of The Truman Show.
And it's got me thinking. Years ago, when my mom still tried to pawn off her old 70s and 80s clothes on me, she'd hand me a size 8 pair of shorts, and even then, with my svelte early 20's figure, I could barely fit one butt check into them, nevertheless be able to actually button them and wear them. It's been proven time and time again that as our American waistbands have rapidly grown, so have the clothing brands responded by making yesterday's 8 today's 0 so we don't all feel like we're quite as fat as we've actually become.
But is this now a thing when it comes to lingerie? Although I've been small chested all my life, I've never once felt self-conscious about it, but I know a lot of women are, hence the booming breast augmentation industry (I can sing the jingle for Dr. Ted Eisenberg, the "leading breast augmentation surgeon in Philadelphia," as he clearly spends all his money on Q102 radio commercials in the 8am hour), but it never dawned on me that, in an effort to sell more bras, retailers might start making cup sizes smaller so women FELT like they had bigger breasts than they actually did.
In truth, the 34D bras that I bought DO fit better than my old 34B bras (I used to think even a B cup was a stretch for me), but it still makes me chuckle every time I pull one out of my drawer. Is it possible that for so many years I've been so confused about what a bra should fit like that I've been buying the completely wrong size? Or is the clothing industry playing yet another trick on me?
Ladies, don't be shy. What size bra do you wear? Is it bigger/smaller than you'd expect? Am I going crazy? Tell me in the comments section below.
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